How To Help Someone Who Is Struggling Or Going Through a Bad Time?

Everyone goes through a hard time in life. Whether from someone passing away, to end a friendship, to the stressful time of school, to many more, these can all cause someone to struggle. As we all know, not everyone is the same, this causes everyone to undertake the event they’re going through differently. Something that affects one person may not affect you or me. This is why when people go through hard times and struggle, they feel like they can’t go to someone else for help. The importance of being able to be there for someone and making sure they feel comfortable talking to you is a must. You may not see the importance of being able to help someone but you really need to think to yourself, if you were in their situation wouldn’t you want to feel safe and be able to talk to someone about whatever is happening. 

The Do’s And Don’ts On What Questions To Ask When Trying To Talk To Someone About Their Feelings 

The questions you ask the person are very important. You don’t want to come off judgy or anything like that. You want to be a safe place for them. A good question to start off with is a simple question “Are you okay?” or “Do you want to talk about anything?”. These questions are a good starting point since the person you are talking to will probably be glad that you care about them enough to ask if they are okay. If they choose to open up to you, keeping asking questions about whatever they are talking about. If you don’t have any questions, then just say that you are here for them through what they are going through. On the other hand, the questions that you shouldn’t ask are the most important to talk about. You never want to say anything that can make the person feel uncomfortable or more alone. Asking questions like “Why are you even sad, your life seems perfect?” or “Why don’t you just get over it and be happy?”. These questions should never be said and can make them feel worse. The most important thing to remember is don’t be judgy and don’t use a judgy term toward them.

The Difference Between Helping And Blaming

Helping can be defined as doing something that makes it easier for someone to do a job but blaming someone can be defined as assigning responsibility for a fault or wrong. There are two kinds of blaming in situations like this. The person you are helping blaming you for what’s happening and you blaming the person for what is happening to them. Let’s start off with the person blaming you for whatever is happening. If you are doing the best you can for the person and they make you feel bad and blame you for what is happening, this is not a situation you want to be in. This can cause a lot of stress on your own mental health and you should tell them that it isn’t okay to do that. If they continue then tell them that you can’t help them since you aren’t in the right mental space to do so. The important thing to do is always to be nice about it. The second one can sometimes happen without you even knowing. If someone is talking to you and you say “Well, that is your fault that is happening”, no matter if it is or if it is not, don’t make someone feel blamed about their feelings. 

Never Forget About You

When helping someone through a hard time is very important but you never want it to start affecting your own mental health. You have to remember it is okay to not be able to be there for them 24/7. Everyone is busy sometimes. Just make sure you listen to them when you can. If your mental health isn’t the best, it is okay, to be honest, and say to the person who you are trying to help that you are going through a lot too. You could help each other or let them know that you might not be emotionally available to help. Helping someone can take a lot out of you, so just make sure you are doing okay too. Just remember that your mental health is always most important no matter what.  

Wrap-Up 

After all of this, you might think that you will do something wrong but if you try your best and take what you learn here you will do amazing. In this world, kindest has not been the focus and there has been a lot of harshness and rudeness around. We all need to start being kinder and being there for our loved ones more. Always remember, if you were struggling and going through a hard time, wouldn’t you want someone there for you?